Head's up, there might be affiliate links ahead!
I had a conversation earlier this week with a friend of mine who is feeling kind of down about her current situation. What struck me was the way she spoke about herself as it related to this situation which was entirely beyond her control. Simply put, because of someone else’s bad behavior toward her, she decided to call herself ugly and fat. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing as this is an otherwise really sharp gal, and she’s neither ugly nor fat.
Now, I know she probably didn’t mean that in the larger scheme of things, and yes she does have an otherwise healthy view of herself (I think), but just uttering words like that, even in jest, can have an alarming affect on your own self worth.
Taking this idea a little closer to home, I’ve been (as you already know) a little weary about what I should be doing next in my life. Here I am at the doorstep of new major life adventures, but I’m too afraid to grab the door handle and step right in. Why? Because I’m afraid of the unknown, petrified of failure, and I have a little spot trepidation about change in general. In other words, my self-talk is holding me back in a huge way.
But if I keep telling myself I can possibly fail, if I continue to assure myself that fear is handy and warranted, and if I don’t push that door open, nothing is going to happen. If nothing happens, I stay here in my bathrobe eating toast and drinking coffee (okay, not such a bad thing). But I’ll never know what “could have been” unless I tell myself I have the ability to succeed. Unless I truly believe I own the resources and capabilities to move into new territory, nothing is ever going to change.
I’ve had a number of creative ideas pass through the “what if” corner of my brain, but it seems that without failure, each idea soon gets poo-pooed and Madam Self-talk tosses it aside. I’m beginning to see this as a pattern that has more to do with “I can’t do this” rather than “this is not a sound idea”. So I’m stepping back from my cranial idea center and taking a more objective view of this bigger picture chatter that’s holding me back from taking one of these many wonderful ideas and running with it. Its time to put my own little nay-sayer aside and take a chance!
We all have dreams that we describe as “if I could try anything and not be afraid of failure, I’d do this….”. Well it’s high time I do just that.
Thanks all for your encouraging thoughts, comments and emails.
I’m going for it.
–Are you new to the Skeptic Yogi? Consider adding your email in the subscriber box (top left of the page). You’ll be notified when new content is added.
Send me your feedback and comments with the comment feature at the end of each blog entry.